Oh.

it kills me. and it’s his birthday is saturday. and i’ll be seeing him tonight. and i’ll be drunk. and i’ll probably try to go home with him. and it won’t happen. and he’s a dumbass but still a great guy so i’m so conflicted about my feelings.

honestly if anyone wants to know the whole story and give me advice, i’m moreeeee than happy to take it. 

so i default a picture of me with the hottest guy i know.

this is how i deal with life…

thedailywhat:

Self-Reflection Experiment of the Day: Kjerstin Gruys, a UCLA Ph.D. student, had a long history of anorexia, disordered eating, and low self-esteem. So she decided to kick mirrors to the curb for a year — and she did it (gasp!) just six months before her wedding.
I just kind of kept coming back to this pattern of perfectionism, and obsessing about my appearance. … The project was to get rid of mirrors with the intention of focusing on everything else in my life.
So how’d she do? After she adapted to mascara application sans mirror, things became easy, including the day of her wedding:
I’m getting my focus back to thinking about the real meaning of the day, which isn’t how I look but marrying the love of my life.
[odditycentral]

thedailywhat:

Self-Reflection Experiment of the Day: Kjerstin Gruys, a UCLA Ph.D. student, had a long history of anorexia, disordered eating, and low self-esteem. So she decided to kick mirrors to the curb for a year — and she did it (gasp!) just six months before her wedding.

I just kind of kept coming back to this pattern of perfectionism, and obsessing about my appearance. … The project was to get rid of mirrors with the intention of focusing on everything else in my life.

So how’d she do? 

After she adapted to mascara application sans mirror, things became easy, including the day of her wedding:

I’m getting my focus back to thinking about the real meaning of the day, which isn’t how I look but marrying the love of my life.

[odditycentral]

Whatever, back on this Tumblr grind. Hey kids.

… in 10 day the guy i’m kinda dating is opening for 3lau here.

i don’t even know.

not going to lie, i’m currently feeling like shit physically and mentally. i decided i wasn’t going to go out… but then i realized that if i don’t go out, i’ll regret it (since it’s the last night of going out before school starts.) so i put on a new dress, new jewelry, and i’m going to try to have the best night possible. here’s to hoping it’s a fun night!

actual words said to me the other night by the guy i’ve been talking to for a month now… just thought i’d share that my life is a joke.

the last few days of my life have been veryyyyyy weird. i’m getting back on my fitness/health grind though, so i should probably use tumblr again…